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Amy Morin, Christmas 2022, Dale Carnegie, Dan Cable, Daniel Kahneman, Daniel M Cable, Eunice Chan Coach, Eunice The Coach, eunicethecoach, Leadership, Matthew Walker, Squeezing the Orange podcast, The Holy Bible, Tim Elmore, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic
I started celebrating Christmas early this year, all the while staying put on my side of the globe. First, there was a really enjoyable bring-and-share Christmas party thrown by an Aussie friend on 4 December. The icing on the cake was having all the guests sing carols by candlelight (each of us had a candle in hand, with a simple paper trick that prevented hot melted wax from burning our fingers).
I also hosted an early Christmas party five days later on 9 December, to accommodate those who were travelling for the holidays. There was so much to do in the run-up to the actual party that I was somewhat pooped/shattered/épuisée/exhausted by the time I hosted the dinner. But we had a great time. It being hot and humid in Asia, to the amusement of my guests, I had the air-conditioner at 16 degrees Celsius (calm down, I do try to do my bit for the planet and keep it at 25 degrees Celsius most days). Next to the Christmas tree was a virtual fireplace/chimney fire on the TV screen, all thanks to YouTube and my French teacher, whose idea it was. The highlights were the massive roast beef, the Buche de Noël and the Secret Santa activity which was hilarious when some “snatched” preferred gifts from others, all in good fun.
Then after a breather, there was another “party” two days later on 11 December, this time with friends across the continents and oceans on Zoom, complete with carolling to live piano accompaniment, courtesy of a wonderful Japanese friend playing from Amsterdam. A special activity included something modified from Professor Dan Cable’s idea of the “Highlight Reel” for enhancing performance. We gave one another virtual Christmas gifts by highlighting each person’s unique strengths which have proven to be a blessing to everyone. This was followed by an individual Whatsapp text and a voice recording for future reference and playbacks. It is a gift that is meant to last a long time, if not a lifetime!
The next (and last) party will be on Boxing Day, 26 December. Among other things, there will be a huge turkey, “pigs in blankets”, mulled wine and Christmas pudding. It will be a small gathering of people who do not have any travel plans, especially those living far away from home during this festive season.
And dear reader, this Christmas, someone sent a helpful reminder in the form of “7 Christmas Gift Suggestions”. But before I share them with you, I would also like to give you 12 virtual Christmas gifts for each of the 12 Days of Christmas:
- Remember that the most coachable leaders are the ones who are humble and ready to admit their limitations. And the irony is that they are also the ones who need coaching the least! (Source: Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic) P. S. For Dr Chamorro-Premuzic’s thought-provoking TEDx talk, “Why do so many incompetent men become leaders?”, click here.
- A Highlight Reel is not about asking people to tell you how great you are but about finding what makes you, you. It is about your unique character traits and skills. You will find that people see qualities in you that you had missed, for we all take our strengths for granted. (Source: Daniel M. Cable) P. S. Check out the hilarious yet informative podcast by Prof Cable and British comedian Akin Omobitan, “Squeezing the Orange…of Social Science”.
- While some of us have been brought up to believe that being critical reflects a superior mind, praise is far more effective than criticism. (Source: Dale Carnegie)
- Mentally strong people hold onto their power and forgive others. (Source: Amy Morin)
- Mentally strong people do not envy other people’s success but rather seek to collaborate with them. (Source: Amy Morin)
- Mentally strong people recognise that achievements take time and that progress is not always immediately apparent. (Source: Amy Morin)
- Visualisation can help you make a habit of using your strengths. Professional athletes have known this for a long time. Recent psychology research confirms that it works for ordinary people too. Try out new activities that reflect your strengths. (Source: Daniel M. Cable)
- “A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition, because familiarity is not easily distinguished from truth.” (Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow)
- Set the bar high and people will strive to meet it. (Source: Dale Carnegie)
- Stick to a sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. Set an alarm for bedtime, and not just your time to wake up. (Source: Matthew Walker)
- We need both non-conscious NREM (non-rapid eye movement) sleep, for storing and strengthening new facts and skills, and REM (rapid eye movement) sleep for dreaming, and the integration of experiences and building innovative insights and problem-solving abilities. Ensure a good night’s sleep by choosing a dark, cool and gadget-free bedroom. (Source: Matthew Walker)
- Be more self-aware, and seize opportunities to understand, interact with, and work well across the different generations (which one are you?):
| General Issue | Silent Generation | Boomers | Gen X | Millennials/ Gen Y | Coronials/ Gen Z |
| Birth years | 1929-1945 | 1946-1964 | 1965-1982 | 1983-2000 | 2001-2015 |
| Life paradigm | Be grateful you have a job | I want better | Keep it real | Life is a cafeteria | I’m coping and hoping |
| Technology | Hope to outlive it | Master it | Employ it | Enjoy it | Hack it |
| Market | Goods | Services | Experiences | Transformations | Reinventions |
| Ethics | Conservative | Self-based | Media-based | Shop around | Elastic |
| View of authority | Respect them | Replace them | Endure them | Choose them | Not sure I need them |
| Pandemic’s effects | We’ve seen tough times before | My retirement is disappearing | See, I told you life was hard | What will this do to my dreams? | I feel postponed and penalised |
| Role of work | Means for a living | Central focus | Irritant | Place to serve | It’s my hobby |
| Role of relationships | Significant | Limited, useful | Central, caring | Unlimited, global | Utilitarian |
| Sense of identity | I am humble | I am valuable | I am self-sufficient | I am awesome | I am fluid |
| View of future | Seek to stabilise | Create it | Sceptical | YOLO (You Live Only Once) | FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) |
Back to the “7 Christmas Gift Suggestions”, here they are:
- To your enemy, forgiveness (Romans 12: 14)
- To an opponent, mercy (Matthew 5: 7)
- To a friend, your heart (Proverbs 17: 17)
- To your family, unity (Psalm 133: 1)
- To everyone, love (1 John 4: 7)
- To every child, a good example (Titus 2: 7)
- To yourself, peace (Philippians 4: 7)
(Source: The Holy Bible)
Et voila! And there you have it! Last but not least…
To each of you, here’s wishing you, your loved ones and your country:
A Blessed Christmas
&
A Merry, Meaningful, Purposeful, Fruitful & Growth-Focused New Year 2023!
eunicethecoach 